To Marco and Michela
I was talking on the phone with Marco half an hour ago: it was almost a year since we talked, since I had left the band in such a pitiful and stupid way that I thought that they would have sent a killer home to slay me.
When I left the band so badly, I had not a penny, I had not a job, I was unwell, I didn't like what we played anymore, I didn't want to know the private business of each and every band member and I was also tired of listening of ever more boring (albeit inevitable) stories about the "music business" to get somewhere, somehow: I just wanted to get in the rehearsal studio, speak not a word, play and go home.
I didn't feel in the right place, I didn't feel with the right people and I didn't want to drag myself through this situation, so bad for me. If we had had the chance of being "directed" and "organized" by someone outside the band, I probably would not have gone.
Today I have a job, a few pennies, I listen to music by people that would only make Marco and Michela laugh and I keep on being unwell (also because I have understood that I cannot keep myself from knowing the truth,,, and it's not the case of saying "he who lives, will see"...).
The fact is that I wanted to say this to Marco many months ago... (if the world had to wait for me...).
I realize I have generated a devastating bunch of problems to the band, and I also realize that there is no way of remedying to said bunch and I also realize that Marco (as I have told him in the past) is too human and would need to "dehumanize" a little!
Since I left Power Symphony, I lost contact with other friends that we met along the road: I am speaking of J.J., of Ale and others. I hope that all got (or are getting) near where they wanted, or at least to get on the right path.
Unfortunately I heard from Marco that the drummer who followed Roberto "Thunder" Dussi has had a bad accident and that he quit playing ; now I know he's better and I'd like that he got back on the right track because I remember that he is really a great drummer (in my opinion, wasted for Heavy Metal!!!).
I keep on fantasizing on my musical project, which will never see the light because it is totally out of any musical genre!
Maybe I will meet Marco in July; maybe, before I shake his hand he will hit me with a fist...
I've said all that I wanted to say for months and honestly I cannot just understand how I can be so human in my dishumanity... No comment, please: to the future the hard judgment (Mega-cliche).
CroCe
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